Wednesday, July 17, 2013

"Well, I'd like to fly and spit diamonds, but that don't make it so."

Annnnnnd we're back!  Here to tell the tea shop story, as requested.  This is our last day together (SOB)-- in point of fact, we have but forty-five minutes remaining before we have to leave for the airport--so we shall make this snappy and try not to weep and wail too much.  (This is Amy.)

Well, then, tell the story. And don't forget the goatee. (This is Melody.)

I'll begin if you want me to, but I make no promises about shoving the laptop at you and saying, "Your turn."  :D

So it all happened on July 10th, when we went to the Pemberley Mall together to do what teenage girls do at malls (and a great deal that most teenage girls don't do).  We call it the Pemberley Mall because that was not actually its name, and we happen to like naming things after Jane Austen Stuff.  Let's see, what all did we do at the mall? *shoves laptop*

Heh, heh, well, SOME of it I think should stay 'tween you and me.  Muwahahaha. *wink wink*

Oh very well, but we can at least tell some of the less embarrassing stuff.  Like making faces to match that Grumpy Cat t-shirt?  And the old coot who walked by while you were making your grumpy face and told you to smile? 

Oh, good grief. Apparently old coots have a habit of saying that to me. :P

Okay, well, we were walking by this shop that had a really dumb name regarding teas, which we won't share here in case it's not a chain and some of you might look it up and figure out where Melody lives.  Heh heh heh.  Anyways, they had some free samples on the edge between the store and the mall hall or whatever you call it, and so we decided to sample some, and THEN....

THEN he was like the Spirit of Christmas Present except more quiet. You know, "COME IN AND KNOW ME BETTER, MAN!"

Okay, that's a little freaky sounding.  It wasn't quite that bad.  More like, "Pleeeeeeease come in and sample more teeeeeeeeeeea."  This dude was an employee, by the by.  Whom we suspect strongly of working on commission.

Indubitably.  He had all the sales lines down, too. "This is our most expennnnsive teeeea. Connoisseurs think it quite diviiiine." *strokes little goatee on tip of chin*

Wait, you have a goatee, Miss M????

Not me, silly. Him.

"Him?  Who him?"

Okay, so when we were still standing kind of outside the shop (he came along and decided to assist us with sampling the two teas by the doorway) and after giving us some, he looks us over and says "Hmmm, you girls seem very conservative."  And we were like... o.O

I can't decide which of our multiple body piercings, tattoos and dyed hair gave him that impression... anyways, we said, "And you look like a weirdie."

Thought. She means thought. :P

Technicalities, technicalities.

You know I like to be technical when it suits my purposes. ;)
Anyway, after those two samples he kept taking us in farther, crisscrossing back and forth along the two tables and giving us more tiny samples of tea. Which tasted quite expensive.  However, Amy rather liked the tea (as did I, but she is more of a tea person than I am), and wanted to know how much it was. Heh, heh, heh. 

"No, don't ask," said I.  "There aren't any prices anywhere. That means it must be ridiculously expensive." 

But I do not listen to reason, at least not when it suits me not to, and I asked the dude how much the tea cost.  After all, I am more adventurous than my friend.  (Ha... that was another strange remark he made, when I tried this Strawberry Champagne stuff [IT WAS NOT ACTUALLY CHAMPAGNE] and Melody primly refused.)  As it turns out, the cheapest kind was $64 per pound.  "Oh dear saints above, I shall swoooooooon."

And I just kind of stood there like "I told you sooooo." Then we fled out as soon as possible. 

And giggled about it as we moved through the rest of the mall.  We're still giggling about it, in point of fact.  Giggling is what we do best.  Poor fool, he makes us laugh.


Um, we've been singing that line ALL WEEK.  Like, every few minutes.  And everything fits that tune, too. 

We must wrap this up so that we can spend time together other than tapping and sniggering. Which is of course fun, but you know. THE TIME IS RUNNING DOWWWWN.  
So here. Wrap it. :P

You peoples reading this must understand that this has been the best week of our lives.  I don't think I exaggerate, and if I do, it is not my own fault, is it, Mrs. Allen?

My dear, you tumble my gown. (But you do not exaggerate. :D)

We have had so much fun and done so many things, which we hope to tell you about in the near future, but we have not the time today.  For instance, the tale of being on the trampoline after one AM last night (er, this morning) when Melody's papa came downstairs and nearly locked us out of the house...

Hahahahaha. More on that later. ;)

But for now... we shall have to say farewell.  So long, farewell and all that jazz.  GOOOOOO! GO NOW AND LEEEEEEEEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Let us not have tears. Partings are a natural part of life.

To ease the pain of this news, I have glad tidings. We shall adjourn early this afternoon, make our way to the Spurgeon farm, where Moody's parents have consented to host a celebration in honor of my departure.

...Nobody told ME.

P.S.  The post title is a quote from the Road to Avonlea episode "Hearts and Flowers," which we watched together, and the quote has nothing to do with this post but we found it funny.  :D


Isabella said...

I am so glad you guys are having an awesome time! I am about to cry just hearing you are going to leave, I have felt that feeling many times, but just think of all the fun memories you'll have! Yeah we've been locked out of the house jumping on our trampoline before, very hard getting in :)


Marie said...

Heeeheeeheeheehee. Thanks for telling the story, 'twas most amusing. :)

Emma Jane said...

Oh my goodness, I have the SAME EXACT fan!!! Anyway, just ghought I'd mention that.
Thank you, m'dears, for obliging to tell us all about the weird guy in the tea shop. He actually sounds a great deal like Count Olaf, and I found your story in general most amusing. I have met some weirdies in my day as well. But of course I do not tell them what I think of them to their faces- I wait and then make fun of them with my sisters later. :D And saints above, $64 per pound???? "Shocking!" : P
I love how you used the Phantom of the Opera quotes, by the way, especially the "poor fool, he makes me laugh". :D
Thank you so much for sharing with us about your week! I've enjoyed hearing your stories. It must be very sad to go leave, but I'm sure you have many wonderful memories.
And you both have beautiful hair, by the way. I just thought I'd mention that. : )

~Emma Jane

Alexandra said...

Awww! LOL! Makes me think of those scary movies where the creepy people offer the protagonist a cup of tea and keep urging them to drink it while it's hot and you know it's Been Poisoned. Hehee.

So glad you had such a wonderful time!!!!

Molly said...

I'm glad you had such a good time!!!! Ooh, bouncing on the trampoline at 1:00 a.m. sounds fun!!!!! :)

Hamlette said...

I love your parting quote! One of my dad's favorite lines. He uses it whenever he comes up with some mad plan, my mom objects to it, and then he pulls out the old Moody Spurgeon.

So glad you had fun!

Jane said...

Sounds like you had loads of fun! So glad you could share a bit of it on your blog. (And both your hair looks lovely!)

Miss Jane Bennet said...

Thanks for posting again! You guys obviously had a great time. I'm really sad (not as sad as Amy or Melody, but sad) that Amy is going back to her home, but I hope you guys get to visit again soon. I loved the tea shop story- so funny! And $64 per pound? Yikes...;)

Anonymous said...

oOoooooo..... Verrrrrrry creeeeeeeepy!!! Guys like that are weird. Especially guys that work in tea shops - there's just something to be said about how weird that sounds!!!

Anywhoz, I'm glad you guys had a great time!!!