Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall (2011) Review: Part Two

Okay, so, POTO Part Two.  Picking up where we left off...

So Carlotta's singing along happy as you please (don't you dare start, Melody) and all of a sudden the Phantom's voice cuts the fun short. Naturally, Christine gets upset.  Naturally, Carlotta takes offense at this chorus girl ruining her scene.  "Your part is silent, leetle TOAD."  The Phantom responds with one of the biggest burns in musical theatre history-- not only does he call Carlotta a toad from his apparent perch in the chandelier (the way they film this is really cool) but he actually does something Mysterious and Opera-Ghost-Ish to make Carlotta actually SOUND like a toad (a mystery never fully explained).  I think I said before that Wendy Ferguson is hands-down my favorite Carlotta-- she plays this scene so hilariously and yet you almost feel sorry for Carlotta by the end.

Though of course any sympathetic feelings you may have had for Carlotta are quickly erased by the amusement that ensues when Andre comes thundering down onstage to apologize to the laaaaaaaaaadieeeeeez and GENTLEMEN.  "In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, we will be giving you the ballet from Act... uh, uh.... *flips a million pages* THREE of tonight's opera.  Maestro, bring the ballet FORWARD."

Blah, blah, blah, ballet (no offense to ballet fans but this part kind of bores me) and then boom, Bouquet's body comes plunging down from the rafters and the ballerinas all scream and Christine goes running off.  I intend to elaborate tomorrow (what does "elaborate" mean, Melody?) on my thoughts regarding the Phantom's motives for Doing What He Did and all that, but for now I'd just like to say that murder is never okay, no matter what kind of stories the deceased may have spread about you.  All right?  All right.   Moving on.

I really, really like "Why Have You Brought Us Here/Raoul, I've Been There."  I'm not quite sure why-- I think it may be because it showcases Christine and Raoul's developing relationship.  He's finally confronting her about this whole phantom nonsense, trying to understand why she's so obsessed with believing what he thinks is mere legend.  She, on the other hand, is showing a bit of spine and confirming once and for all that this guy is real-- she's seen him, sung with him, and fallen under his spell, so to speak.  This song also contains one of the saddest lines, IMHO (the saddest of all appears in the last song and we'll get to it in a little bit)-- "Yet in his eyes all the sadness of the world: those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore."

Next we have what may be my very favorite love song of all time.  "All I Ask of You" has become almost ubiquitous at weddings in recent years, but I don't care-- I'm going to have it played at my reception someday.  I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together.  He represents everything she needs-- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection.  She represents everything he needs, in turn-- someone to depend on him and need him, the friend he had when he was little and the woman he loves now.  (If you think I'm being cheesy, go read some other blog.)  And the way Hadley Fraser and Sierra Boggess play this scene... well, it's just the absolute cutest thing in the show.  Best.  Rendition.  Ever.

I realize that I've used this picture or some version thereof several times already on my blog, but I have no problem with that-- it's my absolute favorite screenshot from this number.  (It also happens to be one in a series of pictures that rotate as my desktop background.  Cough, cough.)  I'm a total sucker for couples-who-hug-and-spin, and the sheer joy on both of their faces always leaves me with a warm and happy feeling inside.

And then, of course, the Phantom pops up to sing his own heartbreaking version of AIAOY, and though I'm not condoning the action he takes, I gotta say I feel awfully sorry for him right here.  Except that I don't do a very good job of feeling awfully sorry, because I'm too busy being squealy over Ramin's voice.  "You will CURRRRRSE the day you did not dooooooo... all that the PhanTOM ASKED OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! ....GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

You would think with all the excitement and hype leading up to this moment that the chandelier-crash would be the most epic in the history of the show.  You'd think that, wouldn't you?  But you'd be wrong, because sadly the chandelier doesn't crash at all.  The logistics of getting this to happen in the Royal Albert Hall proved to be too dangerous, so they just shoot off sparklers and fireworks from it and the ballerinas all get to scream again.  And yes, it's still epic.

 The entr'acte is one of my favorite pieces, because I'm a sucker for instrumental medleys in musicals, overtures air otherwise, and I never, ever fast-forward it.  By then, too, I'm sitting forward in my seat, eagerly anticipating...

MASQUERADE! PAPER FACES ON PARADE!

I really adore this song.  It's not in my top three favorites list simply because I have three favorites that trump it, but it's still really high on the Amy Likes This list.  I really can't get tired of it-- certain people who shall remain nameless because I've been mentioning them too much in this review seem to think it gets old after a while ("yes, we get it, you're at a masquerade") but I happen to love every second of it.  "Fool and king, ghoul and goose, green and black, queen and priest, trace of rouge, face of beast... FACES!  Take your turn, take a ride on the merry-go-round in an inhuman race!" Someday I want to host a masquerade ball of my own, and write "Come as you aren't" on the invitations.  My sister says this is lame.  I do not agree.

Christine: I'M A PRINCESS!
Raoul: There's a feather in my mouth.

One thing I'm really not crazy about in this number is the costumes, however.  I would so have preferred to see a more traditional 1880's masked ball, with, y'know, real ball gowns and coats with tails.  Raoul's soldier outfit is great and all, but Christine's fairy-princess-whatever-thing with its sparkles and glitz is really not to my taste.  The whole thing ends up looking like a Mardi Gras-- so much color that you can't even keep track of what the leads are doing.

The Phantom's Red Death costume, however, leaves nothing to be desired.  It's creepily awesome.  And the way he stalks onto the stage and scares everyone senseless is also creepily awesome.  I sure wouldn't want to be Christine during that part, but as an uninvolved viewer drinking tea in front of my laptop, I enjoy myself thoroughly.  "Scary.  Frightening.  Amazing singing here.  Yes, good.  Don't chuck the manuscript on the floor, dude, you spent years writing that.  Ah, yes, poor Christine.  Terribly traumatizing, this.  Yes, yes, Angry Raoul.  This pleases Cute Owl.  Go get 'em, Raoul.  Poor Christine... Drat, my tea's all gone."

"Notes II," while not QUITE as hilariously delightful as the original "Notes," is still really great.  (I'm running out of Praising Adjectives here.)   Carlotta and Christine are both excellent-- Sierra's "how dare you? You evil woman, how dare you!?!?" is the most impassioned I've heard, and Wendy's "she's maaaaaaad" gives Carlotta a little depth in this scene at least.  Sure, she's an egotistical diva, but all this mysterious business surrounding the job she's held for fifteen years is beginning to wear on her, and if I were in her place I'd be frightened too.

And "Twisted Every Way"?  One of my favorite Christine bits EVAH.  It's just so Dramatic and Tortured and Fun to Sing Loudly In the Shower.  (Not TOO loudly, of course.  Otherwise your family will think you're Weird. Trust me on this.)

Hadley Fraser does this scene to perfection as well-- though I'm torn as to whether his idea in persuading Christine to go through this ordeal by fire was actually viable or not, his intentions at least are good.  And yes, he does seem a bit controlling at the moment, but the guy has a point.  "You said yourself he was nothing but a man-- yet while he lives he will haunt us till we're dead."

We then interrupt this Highly Dramatic and Tense moment for the "Don Juan Rehearsal," which is kinda sorta uproariously funny.  

"Those who entan-tan-tan-tan-tan..."

"Eh, hees way ees better.  At least HE makes it sound like MUSIC..."  

"Those who have been TANGLING with Don JUAAAAAAAN!"  

Until the piano starts playing all by itself, of course (another mystery never even partially explained) and we float into "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again," the second most Fun Song to Sing Loudly in the Shower.  

I think this is Sierra Boggess' second-best performance in the entire show (her first and foremost being "Final Lair," of course).  It cannot be denied that she goes off-key at certain moments, a fact that bugs me just a weeny teeny bit, but the amount of feeling and emotion she puts into the song more than makes up for any technical descrepancies.  So gorgeous.  So, so gorgeous.  And that dress... well, I drool over it every time.  As I said in the tag, I want it for my owwwwwwwn.

I am so in love with "Wandering Child."  The singing-over-each-other done in "Notes" can be a bit overwhelming, but in this song it's perfection.  I tend to make fun of English lit courses that go too deep into Symbolism and All That (peeps, it's a tree.  It represents trees.  That's it.  The End.) but I think the singing in counterpoint here is indicative of how Christine's literally being torn between the two forces pulling her from either side.  And the lyrics are just... wow.  "Wildly my mind beats against you, yet the soul obeys!  Angel of music, I denied you! Turning from true beauty..."

I tend to go all emo princess during this song.  It's a fact.  "POOR CHRISTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!  RAOUL, DO SOMETHING!  PHANTOM, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!"

Ahem.

Then Raoul goes all Dominant Male Presence and starts bossing everyone around in preparation for the Don Juan performance, and if you look closely you can see a familiar face in the policemen hired to shoot-only-if-they-must-but-shoot-to-kill.

See him? Far left?  Yep, it's Killian Donnelly.  HI, COMBEFERRE!

I mentioned in a previous post that I don't care for what I've heard of "Point of No Return"-- it's too overtly sensual and suggestive for my taste.  (I've included this picture because I like Christine's dress, though.  Heehee.)  I realize that it's an important part of the story, but hey, I know the story and never have a problem understanding what's going on without it, so I just skip it when I'm watching the film (and don't have the song on my iPod).  However, I do make sure to stop skipping when the part where Christine rips the mask off approaches.  That part definitely IS important.  :D

Can we take a minute to appreciate the excellent job done by the makeup artists in the production, in making the Phantom's disfigurement genuinely gross and horrible to look at?  I mean, when you get up really close it looks fake, obviously, but from where the audience sat I'm sure it was very convincing.

Then Piangi dies and I feel bad for Carlotta again and the Phantom and Christine disappear and Madame Giry and Meg teach the audience how to say the word "monsieur."

Fun fact: I used to think that the whole "hand at the level of your eyes" thing was to keep people from having to look at the Phantom's deformity.  It was only on my third viewing of the musical (I think) that it dawned on me that it was to keep Raoul from being strangled by the Punjab lasso.  I believe what clued me in was hearing Madame Giry say, "Punjab lasso, monsieur."  Sigh... that sound mixing...

Anyways.  Now I am enlightened.

And now! The best part!  The part we've all been waiting for!  FINAL LAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!

(On my 25th anniversary soundtrack album, this track is listed as "Down Once More/Track Down This Murderer" but I prefer "Final Lair.")

"The tears I might have shed for your dark fate grow cold and turn to tears of haaaaaaaate..."

I'm afraid I may just spend the rest of this post fangirling over this song.  Because it is just that good.  I highly recommend you read the lyrics while listening to it, because there's so much singing-over-each-other (again!) that it's hard to get everything the first six or seven times.

I tend to bawl uncontrollably during this scene.  (Or at least tear up a little, now that I've seen it so many times.) Gahhhhhh.  Yes, she made the right choice, yes, she and Raoul belong together (THEY DO), but I can't help but cry over the Phantom anyways.  And some of the lines just break me.

"I love her! Does that mean nothing?  I LOVE HER! Show some compassion!"
"THE WORLD SHOWED NO COMPASSION TO ME!"

Anyone who ever said Raoul is a wimp or a jerk is invited to come see this part of the show, 'kay? I always get chills when he says the line in the picture above.  "I fought so hard to free you..."  He literally did everything he could to save Christine, and all for nothing.  I seriously don't understand the whole disliking-Raoul bandwagon.  THE GUY IS WONDERFUL.  I mean, I'm totally open to hearing your opinion on this, whether it concurs or differs, of course.  My comment box is open and my caps lock is on.

A lot of Christine's lines give me chills, but one of the greatest is the one in this picture.  The scales have finally fallen from her eyes and she's seeing the Phantom for what he truly is.  His problem isn't in his face-- it's in his heart, where bitterness has settled and twisted everything that was once capable of genuine love.  And yet... she still pities him.  "Angel of music! Who deserves this?  Why do you curse mercy? Angel of music, you deceived me.  I gave my mind blindly..."

And then, and then, and then, Christine sings the line that gives me more chills than any other.  "Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? God give me courage to show you, you are not alone!" And the music soars up to the most amazing part EVERRRRRRR as the hearts of fangirls everywhere melt into a million puddly pieces.  Because she doesn't just kiss him once.  She pulls back after the first one and then does it again.  And the look on his face would have pretty much single-handedly shot Ramin Karimloo up into Amy's List of Awesomest Actors Ever, if he weren't already there by merit of his amazing performance in the rest of the play.

SQUEEEEEEEP/SOB.

Told ya this review wasn't going to be calm and objective.

There's a debate raging in my mind about Christine's motives in The Kiss.  On the one hand, it's possible that she thought showing Erik he wasn't alone and that someone COULD love him (even though she left him about two minutes later... nice move, Christine) would persuade him to let Raoul go.  It's reasonable.  But what I like to think is that she honestly chose him, chose to stay with him no matter what the cost, so that Raoul could live.  And The Kiss was her way of demonstrating that.  I think Raoul's expression at this part is what proves it, really-- his whole face just sinks into misery, and I hardly think it's because his girlfriend is smooching some other dude.  Nope, it's because he realizes that she's throwing her life away for his sake.

And, as we know, the rest is history.  Erik breaks the lasso, Christine physically restrains Raoul from jumping on him and killing him (come on, now, you can't really blame him for wanting to), the Phantom screams one of Melody's favorite lines (heh, heh-- it's GO NOW AND LEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE, you know) and they flee as the angry mob comes closer and closer...

...but wait, Christine comes back.

And she gives him back the ring.  And I bawl.  And then the Phantom sings the saddest line in the whole entire stinkin' show.  "Christine, I love you."

And I bawl some more.  Because he's left all alone in his sad, dark lair, left to live with the terrible mistakes he made in trying to force someone to love him.

"You alone can make my song take flight-- it's over now, the music of the night!"

Wait, except it's not.  Over, I mean.  Because we have a ridiculously adorable curtain call to enjoy, in which Ramin and Sierra and Hadley are all unbelievably cute together and the audience has a moment to catch its breath before four of the original Phantoms come out to perform an encore of "Music of the Night," giving me a great opportunity to shriek over Colm Wilkinson.  (Seeing Valjean sing as the Phantom is kind of mind-blowingly amazing. Even if it's hard to wrap my head around.)  And Ramin comes out to join them, which is just the icing on the cake as far as I'm concerned.  SQUEEEEEP AGAIN.

His Majesty Andrew Lloyd Webber, Whom All Must Bow Down and Worship When He Comes On Stage, makes a speech, but it's long and boring and pompous and I usually skip it.  Feel free to do so, but don't turn the movie off just yet because it's still not over.

Sarah Brightman sings, too, but to be honest I'm really not a fan of Sarah Brightman, and I think her voice got worse as her fame increased.  Plus her fashion sense is kind of... strange... in this appearance.  Are those dreadlocks? o.O  And why is ALW referring to her as his own personal angel of music if, um, they've been divorced for years and years?

Another mystery never fully explained, I suppose.

Anyways, the reason you ought to watch to the end is shown in the gif below.  Ramin and Sierra being so CUTE again.  (I'll confess that I shipped the two of them quite industriously until I found out he was married with two kids.  A tragic day.  :P)  Sadly, the gif doesn't actually show the whole Cuteness, because he actually picks her up and carries her offstage after the animation ends, but it's still good.

In conclusion... get thee to thy library (or YouTube) and watch Phantom 25th.  In case you need convincing, you can watch this ad.  If Ramin and Sierra can't persuade you to see this piece of wonder, then I don't know who can.

P.S.  Poooooor fool, he makes me laugh... ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...