Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sink Me, Miss Dorrit

I'm participating again in Miss Elizabeth Bennet's delightful Period Drama Advice Event.  This time, the advice-seeking letter comes from one of my favorite period drama characters of all time.  So I decided to reciprocate by writing an advice letter from another of my favorite characters... I only hope I did him justice.  At least a little.  

Dear Period Drama Advice Column,

I received a proposal from a dear friend of mine, John Chivery. I refused him because I do not love him. I am very fond of John, but I could never feel that way about him. I wish I could; it distresses me to see him unhappy, but I can’t love him — not in that way, not to be his wife. I would rather stay and look after my father than marry someone I do not love. I hope he will find a good wife one day because he deserves one. I am in love with another man, Arthur Clennam, but he is in love with someone else who I don’t know. And now because I refused John, everybody is unhappy or angry with me. What should I do?

Amy Dorrit

My dear Miss Dorrit,

Asking me for advice, what? Sink me, I'm far too embarrassed... well, if you insist.

How very troubling this all sounds.  'Twould seem your friend Mr. Chivery is in some distress, and though you might at first be inclined to go to the rescue, I would not advise it.  It sounds as though the man isn't even capable of tying his own cravat.

You will think now, Miss Dorrit, that I am not serious, but I tell you I am. Deadly serious. And if you think I don't know the meaning of love... well, you are wrong on that point. Quite wrong. You cannot marry a man you do not love, mademoiselle, and you will only set yourself up for unhappiness.  No, no, it will not do.  You must refuse this Mr. Chivery as kindly as you can; it is not fair to him if you cannot love him as he loves you.  Or is, love, too, a crime these days?

I' faith, mademoiselle, I do wish I could see your face as you read this letter and the contrast between the beginning and the end.  Let that be a lesson to you, Miss Dorrit. Never take anyone for granted.
You needn't ask for my identity-- I am a phantom, my lady.  Nothing more than a phantom.

Yours sincerely,

They seek him here, they seek him there
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven? or is he in hell?
That demmed elusive Pimpernel!


Miss Elizabeth Bennet said...

Thank you for your entry! Still haven't seen The Scarlet Pimpernel, but I still liked your letter! And I love how you've signed the letter!

Alexandra said...

Sink me, if you didn't go and do it. Congratulations, m'dear fellow.

I LOVE IT. It is PERFECTION. And that's a lot coming from me, you know. :-P Brilliant work.

Miss Dashwood said...

Miss Elizabeth,
Oh, you should see it! It's an amazing movie-- you'd love it.

Heehee, thank you. :D I wanted to stick a rhyme or two in there, but couldn't think of anything. Because you know, if a rhyme rhymes, it makes a poem. If you follow me.

Abby said...

I love how you signed it off, and you captured his voice brilliantly! :D


Miss Laurie of Old-Fashioned Charm said...

Delightfully delicious! I love the Pimpernel at the end and all his little expressions woven in are brilliant! :)

Melody said...

Brilliance, my dear, as always. Hehe, I'd say barely anything in there isn't a quote! (And that's a compliment. ;) )

Charming. Oh, and at the risk of copying everone else's comments, I loved the signature. :D

Anonymous said...

Lovely letter, m'dear! Oooh, you really make me want to watch The Scarlet Pimpernel!! =)

Nessima Tavariel said...

Miss Dashwood, you are nothing short of delightfully brilliant! I could actually hear Sir Percy's voice as I was reading that.

~Nessima of Arda Nessimava

Anne-girl said...

Got a little chokey, not really sure why.

Anonymous said...

That's so funny! Absolutely what Sir Percy would say. And that part in Little Dorrit when John proposes and says, "I've set my heart on you!" made me tear up. : ) I just recently watched Little Dorrit for the first time... and really, REALLY liked it!

By the way, I can't comment on the Sink Me! blog, and I wanted to let you know that the one you did about Sir Percy pitching the chap that called him a sap was HILARIOUS!! I laugh every single time Gilbert says "soary" and his accent totally ruins the mood! So funny...


Miss Dashwood said...


Miss Laurie,
I'm glad you liked the Pimpernel at the end-- I was going to just sign it "Sir Percy Blakeney", but then decided that the Pimpernel would be more fun. :)

All your quoting is rubbing off on me, Tween. :D Heehee, glad you liked the signature too!

I shall endeavor to continue making you want to watch it... it's SO good!

Aww, thank you! I was hearing his voice in my head, too. ;)

*hands tissue*

Oh, I know, that scene in Little Dorrit always makes me cry! Poor John. I'm glad you liked the Sink Me! picture. I'm not quite sure why you can't comment... that blog's being rather weird with comments. Thanks for letting me know. I'll try and fix it if I can!

Melody said...

Are you implying that *I* barely say anything that isn't a quote?
Hmm... I think my father would be inclined to agree with you. hahahaha