To begin, you must choose twelve literary characters. (Yes, I'll wait while you do.) Choose the characters first, then proceed to answer the questions (which are listed below with my answers.)
My characters:
1. Cynthia Kirkpatrick (Wives and Daughters)
2. Rachel Lynde (Anne of Green Gables)
3. Miss Matty Jenkyns (Cranford)
4. John Thornton (North and South)
5. Cecily Cardew (Importance of Being Earnest)
6. Paul Chauvelin (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
7. Bella Wilfer (Our Mutual Friend)
8. Lady Bertram (Mansfield Park)
9. Edmund Sparkler (Little Dorrit)
10. Marguerite St. Just Blakeney (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
11. John Jarndyce (Bleak House)
12. Catherine Morland (Northanger Abbey)
1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Paul Chauvelin) or 11 (John Jarndyce)?
Hmm, I'd have to say Mr. Jarndyce. That is, I would definitely prefer to study under his tutelage than Chauvelin's. (Revolution this, down with the aristocrats that... no thank you.)
2. 12 (Catherine Morland) sends 8 (Lady Bertram) out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
Ha! This would be highly amusing. I guess Catherine would send Lady B to investigate Mrs. Tilney's room, and her ladyship would simply yawn on the sofa and send Fanny to do it. :)
3. What is, or what would be, 9 (Edmund Sparkler)’s favorite book?
Edmund doesn't strike me as being the literary type, but he might enjoy something adventurous and exciting. Maybe a poorly-written swashbuckling penny novel. :)
4. Would it make more sense for 2 (Rachel Lynde) to swear fealty to 6 (Chauvelin) or the other way around?
I really can't see Mrs. Lynde swearing fealty to anyone (after all, it's dreadfully wicked to swear!) but Chauvelin certainly wouldn't, so it would have to fall to Mrs. Lynde.
5. Number 5 (Cecily Cardew) is looking for a roommate. Should s/he room with 9 (Edmund Sparkler) or 10 (Marguerite Blakeney)?
Definitely Marguerite. No question there.
6. 2 (Rachel Lynde), 7 (Bella Wilfer), and 12 (Catherine Morland) are going out to dinner. Where are they going, and what do they discuss?
Hmmm, this would be interesting. They would probably go to some respectable inn, where Mrs. Lynde would silently tsk at Bella's fancy silk dress and Catherine would be bored to tears with Mrs. Lynde's chatter about Avonlea. Bella would sit and enjoy the awkwardness of it all. :)
7. 3 (Miss Matty Jenkyns) challenges 10 (Marguerite Blakeney) to a duel. Who wins?
Hold on a minute, I just have to get my head around the idea of Miss Matty challenging anyone to anything.
Moment passed. Okay. Marguerite would win. Can we move off this topic before my head explodes?
8. If 1 (Cynthia Kirkpatrick) stole 8 (Lady Bertram)’s most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
I really can't imagine why on earth Cynthia would steal Pug, but I suppose Lady Bertram would come whining to Sir Thomas and demand that he retrieve her poor dear Pug. Sir Thomas would comply, and Cynthia would give back the dog with a "oh, it was only a joke".
9. Suggest a story title in which 7 (Bella) and 12 (Catherine) both attain what they want.
Money and Melodrama--at least, in the beginning of their respective books. :)
10. What kind of plot device would you have to use to get 1 (Cynthia) and 4 (John Thornton) to work together?
Um. The end of the world.
'Nuff said.
11. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would it go?
Bella and I might get along... then again, we might not. It would depend on how far along Bella was in the story. :)
12. If you could command 3 (Miss Matty) to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?
Hmmm... I suppose I would ask her to show me around Cranford and introduce me to all the lovely ladies.
13. If 2 (Rachel Lynde) had to choose sides between 4 (John Thornton) or 5 (Cecily Cardew), what side would s/he choose?
That's a toughie. I would say John Thornton, because Rachel Lynde would probably think Cecily a butterfly-brained young snippet without a grain of sense in her.
14. What might 10 (Marguerite Blakeney) shout out while charging into battle?
Pardon me while I giggle childishly at the thought of Marguerite charging into battle. Heh, heh. Okay, um, she would probably say something to the effect of "FOR THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL!"
Wouldn't we all?
15. If you had to choose a song to best describe 3 (Miss Matty), what would it be?
Probably "My Favorite Things" (the raindrops on roses one!) from The Sound of Music. It just seems to fit Miss Matty.
16. 1 (Cynthia Kirkpatrick), 6 (Chauvelin), and 12 (Catherine Morland) are having a dim sum at a Chinese Restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left , and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?
Well, Chauvelin would of course defer to the ladies, and Catherine would be so in awe at being in the presence of someone so darkly mysterious and thrilling as Chauvelin that she wouldn't be hungry, so Cynthia would get the pancake.
17. What would 5 (Cecily) most likely be arrested for?
She wouldn't.
18. What is 6 (Chauvelin)’s secret?
He's really a prince from Morocco, but he's hiding his identity because aristocrats aren't favored so much these days. You didn't hear it from me.
19. If 11 (John Jarndyce) and 9 (Edmund Sparkler) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Sparkler, of course. He'd reach the finish line and shout, "And I've won with no nonse---" and then his mother and wife would shout, "Sparkler!" together.
20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you be more comfortable walking with, 7 (Bella) or 8 (Lady Bertram)?
Bella Wilfer, without a doubt. If we met a knave, Lady Bertram would probably scream and faint, while Bella would smack him over the head with her parasol.
21. 1 (Cynthia) and 9 (Edmund) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4 (Mr. Thornton)'s sinister secret organization. 11 (Mr. Jarndyce) volunteers to help them,but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4 (Thornton). Meanwhile, 4 (Thornton) has kidnapped 12 (Catherine Morland) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Cecily Cardew), they seek out 3 (Miss Matty), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fiction?
Okay! Cynthia and Edmund reluctantly team up to save the world from Mr. Thornton's sinister secret Men in Black society. (Other members include Westley and Chauvelin, but not Mr. Darcy because he prefers the green coat.) Mr. Jarndyce volunteers to help, but Cynthia later finds out that Jarndyce is a spy for Thornton. Meanwhile, Mr. Thornton has kidnapped Catherine Morland, who is nearly suffering from an attack of the vapors with all the mysterious excitement. Cynthia and Edmund ask advice of Cecily Cardew, who tells them to write in their diaries, and they skeptically go to Miss Matty instead. Miss Matty gives them directions to Blakeney Manor, at which place they will find everything (and everyone) needed to complete their mission. What title would I give this fiction?
25 comments:
HILARIOUS!! I liked the last question best!! I just laughed and laughed!! You are the best if I had a blog I would award you with wittiest\most humorous blogger award!! =)
Oh.My. Word. I LOVE that last one!
Laughing...so...hard...
I have to do this tag. It's seriously the most hilarious thing EVER!! Your answers were so funny! :)
Let's see, Miss Matttie challenging anyone to a duel... is quite improbable...trying to imagine it...yes, my head is hurting now :)
Julia,
I'm so glad you got a kick out of that last question! Awww, you are so sweet--I wish you had a blog, I'd love to read it!
Anne-girl,
Why do I not have a surprised feeling?
Hayden,
Ooh, please do the tag! I'd love to see your answers. I know, can you imagine Miss Matty challenging anybody to anything??
Hahahaaaaaaaa! This post was very highly amusing, my dear.
Our Mutual Friend the movie must be close to the book, because everything you said about Bella made perfect sense to me. =)
Keep Calm and Call Sir Percy... hahahaha!
Wow.
I just love how Catherine was the one to be kidnapped.
I should probably do this too, it looked interesting...if I ever find the time...
My list:
1. Anne Shirley
2. Margaret Hale
3. Mr. Woodhouse
4. Jo March
5. Henry Tilney
6. Elinor Dashwood
7. Mr. Darcy
8. Col. Brandon
9. Miss Matty Jenkins
10. Edith Adelon
11. Fanny Price
12. John Thornton
1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Elinor) or 11 (Fanny Price)?
Elinor, hands down. Fanny's too meek to ever tell her students what to do without fear of injuring their feelings.
2. 12 (John Thornton) sends 8 (Col. Brandon) out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
Something to investigate the price of cotton I believe. And yes, it would succeed, seeing how the dear colonel is quite the military man.
3. 3. What is, or what would be, 9 (Miss Matty)’s favorite book?
The Bible. Definitely the Bible.
4. 4. Would it make more sense for 2 (Margaret Hale) to swear fealty to 6 (Elinor Dashwood) or the other way around?
Can I say neither? I can't see either of them doing such. However, Elinor would probably swear fealty to Margaret, as she seems to give in more.
5. Number 5 (Henry Tilney) is looking for a roommate. Should s/he room with 9 (Miss Matty) or 10 (Edith Adelon)?
He would have a field day making sarcastic comments towards Edith, but I think overall Miss Matty's personality would suit him and he would enjoy rooming at her house.
6. 2 (Margaret Hale), 7 (Mr. Darcy), and 12 (John Thornton) are going out to dinner. Where are they going, and what do they discuss?
Oh dear. If this is before the end of North and South, they will go to some fancy restaurant, where Thornton and Darcy will stare daggers at each other and Margaret will attempt to make awkward conversation.
7. 3 (Mr. Woodhouse) challenges 10 (Edith Adelon) to a duel. Who wins?
Edith would faint because of her delicate disposition, and Mr. Woodhouse would be so alarmed that he would call off the whole thing and wrap Edith in blankets near the fire. Long story short, no one would win.
8. If 1 (Anne Shirley) stole 8 (Col Brandon)’s most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
Hey, the man can be intimidating if he wants. He would say, "Dear girl, give it back to me please," and Anne would give it back. Either that, or he would be nice enough to pretend not to notice.
9. Suggest a story title in which 7 (Darcy) and 12 (Thornton) both attain what they want.
Darcy and Thornton? In the same question? AWWWWW! *ahem* "Pride and Precedence."
10. What kind of plot device would you have to use to get 1 (Anne) and 4 (Jo March) to work together?
A story writing contest probably. I can see them collaborating on that.
11. If 7 (Darcy) visited you for the weekend, how would it go?
I would be in complete awe of one of the coolest characters ever, make a complete fool of myself, attempt to be witty and fail epically, and all in all make him think I'm insane.
12. If you could command 3 (Mr. Woodhouse) to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?
I would ask for that recipe for nice, smooth water-gruel!
13. If 2 (Margaret Hale) had to choose sides between 4 (Jo March) or 5 (Henry Tilney), what side would s/he choose?
Henry. I can see Jo rubbing her the wrong way for some reason.
14. What might 10 (Edith Adelon) shout out while charging into battle?
Oh goodness. This is a terrifying thought. Probably something like, "HIIIIIIDE!"
15. If you had to choose a song to best describe 3 (Mr. Woodhouse), what would it be?
Cinderella, by Steven Curtis Chapman. It perfectly describes his relationship with Emma.
16. 1 (Anne), 6 (Elinor), and 12 (Thornton) are having a dim sum at a Chinese Restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left , and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?
Anne. Elinor would be polite enough not to reach for it, and the same with Thornton. Anne would probably look hesitantly at both, then grab the pancake before they changed their minds.
17. What would 5 (Henry TIlney) most likely be arrested for?
Probably contempt of the law for making some snarky comment to a police officer.
18. What is 6 (Elinor)’s secret?
Besides the fact that Edward is engaged to Lucy? Probably that she once threw a temper tantrum over not getting the last cookie when she was six.
19. If 11 (Fanny Price) and 9 (Miss Matty) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Neither. They would help each other along, and reach the destination at the same time.
20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you be more comfortable walking with, 7 (Darcy) or 8 (Col. Brandon)?
Oh NO! An impossible question! Brandon, because he survived both the military for years, and a duel with Willoughby. Top THAT, Darce!
21. 1 (Anne) and 9 (Miss Matty) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4 (Jo March)'s sinister secret organization. 11 (Fanny Price) volunteers to help them,but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4 (Jo). Meanwhile, 4 (Jo) has kidnapped 12 (Thornton) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Henry TIlney), they seek out 3 (Mr. Woodhouse), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fiction?
Oh goodness. I really, really want to write this story now. I would give it the title, "Flights of the Imagination," and have it be one big dream.
This was SO MUCH FUN!!! I really want to do another now! Did you like my answers?
After reading the last one, I can scarce breath for laughing! I LOVE it!
I also love #10 :)
Anne-girl,
Who were you asking "why don't I have a surprised feeling?" ?
Eleanor,
We do have the url blog that turns my name blue, but I don't write myself on it much but you can keep up with us on it, and I DO hope this next year to start my own!! *wish on a star* ..*fingers crossed* ....
NOT!! I dont do that but I like to be "funny" or attempt to be funny. =)
I adore this tag!!! I've got it in my draft box to do soon. :-)
And the last question is always the best! And I enjoy your cover. :-P Apparently it's won an Emmy and been nominated for several Academy Awards...that's what it says on the cover. Nice! :-P
Melody,
I think it must be pretty close to the book... is it Andrew Davies? Because he isn't always completely family-friendly, shall we say, but he is usually faithful to the novels. (Most of the time.) And yes, I also was quite delighted that Catherine got kidnapped. She would enjoy that.
Rachel,
Oh, my poor nerves are all in a flutter from laughing so hard at your simply hysterical answers! I loved them!
6 made me giggle with Thornton and Darcy "staring daggers at each other". Showdown!
I liked 7, because I could totally see Edith and Mr. Woodhouse behaving like that!
8 was most amusing!
11, haha! I would behave exactly the same way!
17---ooh, yes, Henry Tilney would probably make snarky comments to the police. :)
You really should write a book called "Fights of the Imagination", it sounds delightful!
No! It's Sandy Welch! =D (Of Emma 2009 Fame...also North & South and Jane Eyre 2006, although the latter isn't "family-friendly" either. :P)
Lady Nessima,
I'm glad you liked it! Ha, I was afraid nobody would find #10 funny except me; I'm glad you did. :)
Julia,
No, actually I was asking Anne why I did not have a surprised feeling. It's a quote from the Pixar movie Up, and I said it because Anne adores Sir Percy. :)
Haha! I read your comment and thought, "Eleanor, who's Eleanor?" and then I realized you meant me. :P I've gotten so used to being called Miss Dashwood that I forgot Miss Dashwood had a first name!
Alexandra,
With such a subject, how could it do less? ;) I meant to airbrush those parts out, but I ran out of time.
Oooh, I just loved reading that. It is just so hilarious and your story is perfect.
Hi, Miss Dashwood,
I am 15 years old, and a friend of mine, Julia Rogers told me about your blog. I absolutely love it!!!! Thank you for this very interesting blog, and for unashamedly claiming Jesus Christ. I wish I could meet you...you seem like such a kindred spirit. :) I will continue to watch with interest for more posts. By the way, do you like quoting period dramas as much as I do? I know that may sound silly--(one of us is silly and it's not you):) God Bless! Mykaela McDowell
Miss Dashwood\ Eleanor,(I didnt want to confuse you again =)
I see now that you explained, I wasnt paying attention! :P I LOVE!! Up! Its sooo funny! We quote that too even though its not as "deep" and "intellectual" as Austen. =)
Melody,
Hmm, well, Sandy Welch did such a good job with Emma that I suppose I can trust her with OMF. :)
Miss Darcy,
I so enjoyed reading yours!
Mykaela,
How lovely to meet you! Blogging has been such a great way for me to become acquainted with kindred spirits. I quote period dramas far too often, prompting my family to say, "Sparkler! Be quiet!" :) It's so nice to meet someone else who suffers from quote-itis as well! ("Nobody knows what I suffer! But then of course I never complain.")
You have a lovely name, by the way!
Julia,
I think it's definitely one of the most quotable movies ever. "Good afternoon... My name is Russell." ;)
Ha! "Why do I not have a surprised feeling?" is one of our favorite (and most used) quotes from Up. :-)
Alexandra,
Is it really? What fun! "I like you temporarily." ;)
My cousins and I quote that to each other all the time..and all go off into peals of laughter!! =)
Ah I am soo glad to find more kindred spirits in the "quote -itis" world!! It must be a common failing with girls like us..kindred spirits ..the race of Joseph, right? =)
and its IS so GREAT to find new bloggy friends, its my daily highlight (some times more than
once a day =) I REALLY do enjoy blog "hopping"
Love it! So glad you did this...it's my favorite tag. :)
Hey Miss Dashwood, I know this is really old, but it looked like so much fun that I did it too! I posted the results on my blog, Sunshine and Shadow - you're welcome to come by and check it out if you like!
Thanks for such a fun tag!! :-)
Love in Christ,
Vicki
Aye, aye, I know this blog is closed. But I was so vastly amused by this post I had to do my own... and nearly died in the process. From laughter.
1. Anne Shirley
2. Emma
3. Sir Percy
4. Jo March
5. Gilbert Blythe
6. Mr. Darcy
7. Judah Ben-Hur (how is it you never mentioned him on your blog...? Maybe I missed it?)
8. Rachel Lynde
9. Mr. Knightley
10. Elinor Dashwood
11. Edward Ferris
12. Elizabeth Bennet
Um, because I'm supposed to be doing biology homework... I'll only write out the most amusing ones... Actually, I’ll do them all. But briefly, very briefly.
1. Who would make a better college professor, Mr. Darcy or Edward Ferris?
Edward Ferris.
2. Elizabeth Bennet sends Rachel Lynde out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
I have absolutely no clue what that would be but Mrs. Lynde would certainly be very competent.
3. What is, or what would be, Mr. Knightley’s favorite book?
Maybe something about manners and etiquette. Or a distinguished romance with a perfectly sensible, yet still dashing hero.
4. Would it make more sense for Emma to swear fealty to Mr. Darcy or the other way around?
Most definitely Emma. I think.
5. Gilbert Blythe is looking for a roommate. Should he room with Mr. Knightley or Elinor Dashwood?
Well, duh. Mr. Knightley.
6. Emma, Judah Ben-Hur, and Elizabeth Bennet are going out to dinner. Where are they going, and what do they discuss?
I can’t imagine where they would go, but Emma and Lizzie would be discussing fashion and literature and matchmaking, while Judah would listen rather confused, wondering how on earth he got into the nineteenth century, and where on earth are his mother and sister, and he shouldn’t be sitting there having dinner because he’s got to go out and kill Messala!
7. Sir Percy challenges Elinor Dashwood to a duel. Who wins?
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT????!!!! Actually, Sir Percy is too much of a gentleman to challenge a lady to a duel. (Odd’s fish, m’dear. Would you have me challenge the poor countess to a duel?) Most likely he would be dueling Chauvelin and a dozen French soldiers all at the same time to defend Elinor… and win.
8. If Anne Shirley stole Rachel Lynde’s most precious possession, how would she get it back?
Not that Anne would steal anything, but I had a sudden vision of the theatrical apology scene…
9. Suggest a story title in which Judah Ben-Hur ad Elizabeth Bennet both attain what they want.
Uh… Revenge and Romance? That actually sounds neat…
10. What kind of plot device would you have to use to get Anne Shirley and Jo March to work together?
Wouldn’t need any plot device. They would enjoy each other’s company.
(Am continuing in second comment, since this thing is waaay too long...)
11. If Judah Ben-Hur visited you for the weekend, how would it go?
I can’t imagine meeting an eyewitness to Jesus’ ministry and crucifixion. That would be so epic… well, I guess I’d just beg him to describe what it was like to actually BE there!!!
12. If you could command Sir Percy to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?
Me? Command Sir Percy? “One to command and nineteen to follow.” Y’see? I wouldn’t be doing any commanding here, I would be obeying in meek submission. But of course, Sir Percy answers any cry for help. If I had a chance for him to do anything for me, I’d save it in case I ever get captured by revolutionary soldiers.
13. If Emma had to choose sides between Jo March or Gilbert Blythe, what side would she choose?
Oh boy. I have no idea. I’m just saying Gilbert since Jo might be a little too sensational for Emma.
14. What might Elinor Dashwood shout out while charging into battle?
HELP!!!!!
15. If you had to choose a song to best describe Sir Percy, what would it be?
The Impossible Dream. ‘Nuff said.
16. Anne Shirley, Mr. Darcy, and Elizabeth Bennet are having a dim sum at a Chinese Restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?
What’s a scallion pancake…? Well, it is hilarious enough to try picturing those three all reaching for the same thing at the same time… But, to quote you, if I may, Mr. Darcy “would of course refer to the ladies,” and Elizabeth “would be so in awe at being in the presence of someone so darkly mysterious and thrilling as Mr. Darcy” (because he’s her husband… I guess. That probably doesn’t make sense pertaining to Elizabeth, but Mr. Darcy IS darkly mysterious and thrilling. More thrilling than Chauvelin at least) so Anne “would get the pancake”
17. What would Gilbert Blythe most likely be arrested for?
For calling a certain red-head “carrots”… only that’s not serious enough to be arrested for anyway.
18. What is Mr. Darcy’s secret?
He’s actually in love with a certain pair of “bright eyes” even though he declared the owner of said bright eyes “not handsome enough to tempt me”. Liar.
19. If Edward Ferris and Mr. Knightley were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Uh… just gonna say Edward Ferris. No reason why. Except that he’s maybe younger than Mr. Knightley?
20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you be more comfortable walking with, Judah Ben-Hur or Rachel Lynde?
Seeing as Judah is a former galley-slave, a champion of the Roman circus, and incredibly strong, I’d much rather be with him than Rachel Lynde. No question there.
21. Anne Shirley and Mr. Knightley reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by Jo March’s sinister secret organization. Edward Ferris volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for Jo March. Meanwhile, Jo March has kidnapped Lizzie Bennet in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of Gilbert Blythe, they seek out Sir Percy, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fiction?
(Pardon me while I laugh hysterically)
All I can say is it’s an awfully good thing I put Sir Percy in the third place. Because he’ll take care of that mess for me. Meanwhile, I’ll call it “Chaos in the Literary World or Help, Everyone’s Gone Insane!” Okay, that was my feeble attempt at humor and it didn’t work. But you get the idea.
P.S. Words cannot describe how much I've enjoyed this blog! I was so unbelievably delighted to read the opinions of one who is so obviously "Of the race of Joseph" or, in other words, a Kindred Spirit.
P.S.2 If I may ask a question that is a little weird... (which you don't have to answer... if you still reply to comments on this blog, that is...) Were you, perchance at a certain Civil War Reenactment in Zoar, Ohio last weekend? (As in Sep. 18, 2021) Just asking since I saw your Reenactment photos on your blog and also saw someone who looked a lot like you at said reenactment in Zoar... lol...
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