To begin, you must choose twelve literary characters. (Yes, I'll wait while you do.) Choose the characters first, then proceed to answer the questions (which are listed below with my answers.)
1. Cynthia Kirkpatrick (Wives and Daughters)
2. Rachel Lynde (Anne of Green Gables)
3. Miss Matty Jenkyns (Cranford)
4. John Thornton (North and South)
5. Cecily Cardew (Importance of Being Earnest)
6. Paul Chauvelin (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
7. Bella Wilfer (Our Mutual Friend)
8. Lady Bertram (Mansfield Park)
9. Edmund Sparkler (Little Dorrit)
10. Marguerite St. Just Blakeney (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
11. John Jarndyce (Bleak House)
12. Catherine Morland (Northanger Abbey)
1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Paul Chauvelin) or 11 (John Jarndyce)?
Hmm, I'd have to say Mr. Jarndyce. That is, I would definitely prefer to study under his tutelage than Chauvelin's. (Revolution this, down with the aristocrats that... no thank you.)
2. 12 (Catherine Morland) sends 8 (Lady Bertram) out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
Ha! This would be highly amusing. I guess Catherine would send Lady B to investigate Mrs. Tilney's room, and her ladyship would simply yawn on the sofa and send Fanny to do it. :)
3. What is, or what would be, 9 (Edmund Sparkler)’s favorite book?
Edmund doesn't strike me as being the literary type, but he might enjoy something adventurous and exciting. Maybe a poorly-written swashbuckling penny novel. :)
4. Would it make more sense for 2 (Rachel Lynde) to swear fealty to 6 (Chauvelin) or the other way around?
I really can't see Mrs. Lynde swearing fealty to anyone (after all, it's dreadfully wicked to swear!) but Chauvelin certainly wouldn't, so it would have to fall to Mrs. Lynde.
5. Number 5 (Cecily Cardew) is looking for a roommate. Should s/he room with 9 (Edmund Sparkler) or 10 (Marguerite Blakeney)?
Definitely Marguerite. No question there.
6. 2 (Rachel Lynde), 7 (Bella Wilfer), and 12 (Catherine Morland) are going out to dinner. Where are they going, and what do they discuss?
Hmmm, this would be interesting. They would probably go to some respectable inn, where Mrs. Lynde would silently tsk at Bella's fancy silk dress and Catherine would be bored to tears with Mrs. Lynde's chatter about Avonlea. Bella would sit and enjoy the awkwardness of it all. :)
7. 3 (Miss Matty Jenkyns) challenges 10 (Marguerite Blakeney) to a duel. Who wins?
Hold on a minute, I just have to get my head around the idea of Miss Matty challenging anyone to anything.
Moment passed. Okay. Marguerite would win. Can we move off this topic before my head explodes?
8. If 1 (Cynthia Kirkpatrick) stole 8 (Lady Bertram)’s most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
I really can't imagine why on earth Cynthia would steal Pug, but I suppose Lady Bertram would come whining to Sir Thomas and demand that he retrieve her poor dear Pug. Sir Thomas would comply, and Cynthia would give back the dog with a "oh, it was only a joke".
9. Suggest a story title in which 7 (Bella) and 12 (Catherine) both attain what they want.
Money and Melodrama--at least, in the beginning of their respective books. :)
10. What kind of plot device would you have to use to get 1 (Cynthia) and 4 (John Thornton) to work together?
Um. The end of the world.
11. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would it go?
Bella and I might get along... then again, we might not. It would depend on how far along Bella was in the story. :)
12. If you could command 3 (Miss Matty) to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?
Hmmm... I suppose I would ask her to show me around Cranford and introduce me to all the lovely ladies.
13. If 2 (Rachel Lynde) had to choose sides between 4 (John Thornton) or 5 (Cecily Cardew), what side would s/he choose?
That's a toughie. I would say John Thornton, because Rachel Lynde would probably think Cecily a butterfly-brained young snippet without a grain of sense in her.
14. What might 10 (Marguerite Blakeney) shout out while charging into battle?
Pardon me while I giggle childishly at the thought of Marguerite charging into battle. Heh, heh. Okay, um, she would probably say something to the effect of "FOR THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL!"
Wouldn't we all?
15. If you had to choose a song to best describe 3 (Miss Matty), what would it be?
Probably "My Favorite Things" (the raindrops on roses one!) from The Sound of Music. It just seems to fit Miss Matty.
16. 1 (Cynthia Kirkpatrick), 6 (Chauvelin), and 12 (Catherine Morland) are having a dim sum at a Chinese Restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left , and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?
Well, Chauvelin would of course defer to the ladies, and Catherine would be so in awe at being in the presence of someone so darkly mysterious and thrilling as Chauvelin that she wouldn't be hungry, so Cynthia would get the pancake.
17. What would 5 (Cecily) most likely be arrested for?
18. What is 6 (Chauvelin)’s secret?
He's really a prince from Morocco, but he's hiding his identity because aristocrats aren't favored so much these days. You didn't hear it from me.
19. If 11 (John Jarndyce) and 9 (Edmund Sparkler) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Sparkler, of course. He'd reach the finish line and shout, "And I've won with no nonse---" and then his mother and wife would shout, "Sparkler!" together.
20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you be more comfortable walking with, 7 (Bella) or 8 (Lady Bertram)?
Bella Wilfer, without a doubt. If we met a knave, Lady Bertram would probably scream and faint, while Bella would smack him over the head with her parasol.
21. 1 (Cynthia) and 9 (Edmund) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4 (Mr. Thornton)'s sinister secret organization. 11 (Mr. Jarndyce) volunteers to help them,but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4 (Thornton). Meanwhile, 4 (Thornton) has kidnapped 12 (Catherine Morland) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Cecily Cardew), they seek out 3 (Miss Matty), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fiction?
Okay! Cynthia and Edmund reluctantly team up to save the world from Mr. Thornton's sinister secret Men in Black society. (Other members include Westley and Chauvelin, but not Mr. Darcy because he prefers the green coat.) Mr. Jarndyce volunteers to help, but Cynthia later finds out that Jarndyce is a spy for Thornton. Meanwhile, Mr. Thornton has kidnapped Catherine Morland, who is nearly suffering from an attack of the vapors with all the mysterious excitement. Cynthia and Edmund ask advice of Cecily Cardew, who tells them to write in their diaries, and they skeptically go to Miss Matty instead. Miss Matty gives them directions to Blakeney Manor, at which place they will find everything (and everyone) needed to complete their mission. What title would I give this fiction?