In light of the success of last week's post from the ladies of period drama, we bring you the sequel, live from the man cave.
(Please note that as subject material is a bit scarcer when it comes to gentlemen's hair, being that there generally isn't as much of it, we have expanded the repertoire of advice to include facial hair as well.)
1. If you're a farmer and really super busy at harvest season, we'll cut you some slack, but seriously, Ramen noodles don't look good on anyone.
2. Those who are in the habit of wearing their hair slightly longer and parted on the side (which is, we might add, not at all unattractive) should not attempt a romantic proposal after slicking their hair down with some weird kind of gel. Whether they get the girl is not necessarily correlated to this attention to appearance, but they will run the risk of being gently ridiculed and their mode of walking compared to that of a gander when they are being observed by a pair of snarky, sentimental teenage girls.
3. Do the powdered wig thing if you must, but you'll always look better if you let it go natural (while dressed in farmer's clothing) and end up getting shot in the process. (Warning: this method is prone to attract much screaming from a certain group of people calling themselves Leaguettes.)
4. Curlytops should hang out with other curlytops.
We don't know why, but it's been practically scientifically proven that they always do.
6. If you're going to start making rules about how people are not allowed to be taller than you, you might want to consider actually growing something on top of your head, as this will at least add to the illusion of height.
7. Trying to look older in an attempt to woo your ex-girlfriend's little sister will not be helped by growing a wispy little mustache/goatee thingy. She will, in all likelihood, demand you shave it off, like the sensible woman she is. To prevent this from happening, just don't grow it in the first place. It looks ridiculous. I don't care if you're Batman.
8. If your name is Marius, your hair must be amazing at all times. (please note that your voice has to be incredible too and all the curls and swoosh in the world won't make up for a lack in that department.) This is the unwritten code of the Marii, and don't get me started on the Enjolrai.
9. Well-trimmed, clean hair of a decent length is always an agreeable thing, and you may well win the heart of the hoity-toity postmistress's assistant if you wear yours in such a manner.
However, if you turn up later on with long, greasy locks and a generally unkempt appearance (not to mention a little matter of, y'know, skipping town earlier in the series UM HELLO) you might not be met again with such favor.
10. Seriously, do consider washing it once in a while.
11. What we said about mustaches earlier? Notorious cause for divorces, so I hear.
12. In case you're not taking this seriously, gentlemen, a lady really does notice your hair. First impressions, so say Jane Austen and Peter Pan, are awfully important, and if you look creepy and stringy when first seen... well, the viewers won't be as likely to dub you their favorite character.